Today I’m doing my Life Update and Photo Journal of 2017. I want to wish you all a Happy New Year! I know, I know this is way overdue! In addition to reading this update on where I’ve been, I hope you enjoy this photo journal that I included featuring the best moments of 2017.
Life Update and Photo Journal of 2017
The two biggest life updates were moving to Florida and finishing my last semester of law school. This past semester was the hardest semester for me. I really struggled to balance my workload and motherhood. I did have support from my son’s father, but he was not used to handling our son’s day-to-day schedule, and he started working a month into the start of the semester. It was definitely not the plan and there was no surefire smooth schedule. I couldn’t devote as much time as I wanted into my studying, but I did my best and I’m so glad that my final grades reflected that. I was also not able to spend as much time with my son and that was really hard for me.
In addition to those changes there was conflict from others surrounding our move and even me attempting to finish school. Unfortunately when you depend on people and allow people to be involved in your decisions, there will be backlash when those people don’t agree with your decisions. I won’t get into the specifics, but I have always pictured having a solid boundary in place when it comes to my own family. This is especially true regarding the decisions we make in our lives and in our child’s life. That is not how it played out no matter how much I tried, but I made a decision that I needed to finish school and that was that.
So how is life you ask?
I feel like I lost myself a little to be honest. These past several months were filled with conflict, negativity, and not to mention stress. I internalized it, got defensive, and reacted to it. Looking back on this now, all I can feel is shame. I let other people steal my peace. I allowed others to make me feel small and reacted by feeling like I had to overcompensate or live to prove other people wrong. The simple fact is that you could be doing everything right and putting everyone before yourself, but anyone could still find something wrong with you. A lot of the times the issue is that the other person wants you to do things their way. Even so, if I am enough for my son and I am doing my best for him then I should have been ok with that knowledge.
Instead, I questioned myself and all the rejection and loneliness that I felt. I didn’t understand why things blew up the way that it did. I feel like people are self-serving and selfish by nature and we can’t take every mean thing that someone says or does too seriously. Sometimes people let fear or whatever negative emotion control their common sense. No one’s perfect and we can’t put too much faith in another person who has completely different life experiences or values than we may have.
Last year did not turn out at all like I envisioned. Some things were destined to fail. I avoided certain things and I went along with things that I knew were not right. My takeaway is that even when everyone is against you, you still have to do what is right. We can’t hold on to things that are not for us or change the outcome to appease others. People are going to think what they think. We don’t have that much control over other people’s negativity, assumptions, or judgments. The only thing we can control is our reactions.
I don’t want to let the distraction of other people’s negativity keep me from doing the things I want to do. I know that I’m not perfect and that sometimes things are up in the air. Still, I have to follow the dreams in my heart and live my life the best I know how. I have not felt ready to share a lot of things that I enjoy or experiences that I have had because I didn’t feel “ready.” I don’t think that anyone is ever really ready and I plan to take more chances this year and stop letting fear or other people’s opinions hinder my decisions. I made changes necessary to better our chances at a better life. In the end keeping those things a priority was the right thing and I am happy with my decisions.
What to Expect?
I hope to eventually make the time to make a new post or video every Thursday. I have to get back into the swing of things so that may be an ambitious goal. But, for now I will be happy getting on a schedule to make a post at least every other week. I have a lot of makeup and hair care that I want to play around with and share with you all. I am also working on potty training my son, who doesn’t seem to be too excited or ready for that step.
So, that was my Life Update and Photo Journal of 2017! Thank you guys for reading this post and I hope you can relate to some of the things I shared. Remember that you are always enough and if you don’t like where you are everyday is a new day to start something new.
Until next time,